How She Felt
by MeInTheMaking
Summary: A deeper look at Elsa's inner thoughts during the climax of the story. /spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the movie/


**Hey guys, so I just went and saw Frozen, and I have to admit, I cried. Seeing the movie, I was really intrigued with Elsa as a character (I know, big ****shocker there). Being the big sister myself, I identify with her. The biggest reason being - and this goes for the Hunger Games franchise as well - that I love my younger sister dearly, to the point that I would lay down everything I have for the sake of her safety and her happiness. She's my best friend, and someone I love more than anyone else on this earth. She's amazing guys, really. **

**That being said, it really hit me when Hans told Elsa she'd killed her sister. I saw Elsa react in a way I understood. I put a lot of thought into how I would act, what I would think. Would I deny I had hurt my sibling? Would I completely break down? Why did I hurt her anyway? Thinking about this really made me want to write a deep analysis on Elsa's inner thoughts at this time, up to the point when Anna froze protecting her younger sister (by the way, that's when I cried the hardest, I think, because all I've ever hoped for is proof that my little sister loves me as much as I love her, and would be willing to perform such a selfless act of love such as Anna did for Elsa).**

**So that being said, this is what I wrote! I hope you guys like it (kind of hope you all cry reading it, good explanation for that) and please review, I put a lot of thought and time into this.**

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Hans's information fell on deaf ears. She hugged herself, as his words processed in her head. Her sister was dead, because of her. As she lay, curled in on herself, she recalled all the times she had heard Anna's voice from behind a closed door. Every time she heard it, it was just so hard for her to keep from throwing the door open and saying yes. It was nearly impossible for her to hear her sister to beg for her company and be denied it every time. But Elsa was always afraid.

She couldn't bear it if she'd hurt her sister again. No matter how much she missed the nights when the two of them would stay up and build snowmen, no matter how lonely she felt all those years locked away in the empty, cold room, no matter how much she wanted to cry hearing Anna beg her for one more snowman, she couldn't endanger her sister again.

But now, right here in the middle of the storm Elsa created, she was faced with the heart-wrenching reality that that was exactly what she'd done. She'd become the monster she was afraid of becoming.

She realized then, curled up in her little ball, that she'd failed her younger sister in every way possible. She'd frozen her when she was small; she'd blocked her out as they grew up, and now…

Now she'd killed her; her own sister. The person that she'd sworn to break away from to protect her, the one person on this Earth she had left, and that she loved more than the world. And it was her fault Anna was dead.

There was a shout above her; a soulful cry of no, and suddenly, a shadow cast over Elsa. Her eyes followed it, not knowing what would be above her. Her breath hitched in her throat.

It was Anna.

Her young, energetic, perfect sister stood protectively above her, completely frozen.

"Anna!" Elsa cried, quickly pulling herself up and facing the statue. "Anna no, no please no."

She looked into the eyes of her sister, and saw only herself reflected. She saw in her sister's frozen eyes the failure that she was as a big sister. She gingerly touched her face, almost afraid to touch it, afraid her sister would shatter like her world just had.

Anna was all she'd had left; all she could ever ask for and all she could ever hope for, and now here she stood, frozen by her own hand. She saw the fear in her sister's eyes, frozen there for all eternity. Elsa threw her arms around her sister and wept.

She apologized, for all the times she didn't open the door. She begged for her sister to come back to her, beckoning with a promise to finally open the door. She just wanted her sister back, to make up for all her mistakes. She wanted a chance to be a better big sister. The world around her fell apart. Everything dissolved away, until there was nothing left, but Anna and Elsa and Elsa's pain.

Elsa's guilt.


End file.
